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余华小说《活着》中的一段英译

2024-03-18

Michael Berry(白睿文),加州大学洛杉矶分校教授,曾将余华的《活着》、王安忆的《长恨歌》、叶兆言的《1937年的爱情》等小说译成英语(To Live; The Song of Everlasting Sorrow; Nanjing 1937)。以下文字选自《活着》:


那时我在田里,我娘扭着小脚急匆匆地跑来告诉我,她话没说完,就擦起了眼泪。我一听说家珍给我生了个儿子,扔了手里的锄头就要往城里跑,跑出了十来步,我不敢跑了,想想我这么进城去看家珍她们母子,我丈人怕是连门槛都不让我跨进去。


以下是Michael Berry的译文:


I was out in the field when the message came. My mother rushed out, running on her twisted little feet to tell me. Before she was finished I wiped away my tears. As soon as I heard Jiazhen had borne me a son, I threw down my hoe and began running toward town. I took about ten steps and then stopped. I was afraid that if I went into town to see Jiazhen and our son, my father-in-law wouldn’t let me past the door.


以上译文在人物视角(近距离叙述)以及相关的词、句子、语篇等细节上,均有不妥之处,可修改为:

I was toiling out in the fields when my mother came running, on her bound little feet, to bring me the message. She started wiping away her tears before she was finished. As soon as I heard Jiazhen had borne me a son, I threw down my hoe and ran toward town. Hardly had I taken ten steps when I stopped. If I went into town to see Jiazhen and our son without making preparations, my father-in-law would slam the door in my face.

   (方开瑞)


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